Arguing with anyone, especially at work, can create stressful atmospheres, anxiety and performance issues.
But did you know that arguing can also spark conversations that improve relationship health and deepen emotional connection?
Here’s how you can diffuse an argument at work and understand your colleague better:
Take time out from the argument.
Time out will enable you to regain your composure and gather your thoughts. Try asking the other person, ‘Can we take five minutes for a breather, please?‘ or ‘Can we take a break and come back to this a bit later, please?’
Ask to ‘argue’ differently.
Participate in a conversation only when there is a gentler, more respectful way to communicate. Try asking the other person, ‘Would you mind not raising your voice, please?‘ or ‘I’m willing to talk, but please, could you stop being sarcastic?’
Remind them that you’re on the same team.
This is not you versus them—it’s you and them versus the problem. Try saying, ‘I’m on your side. Let’s have this conversation like we’re on the same team—because we are.’
Show them that you’re truly listening.
This means genuinely listening to understand and empathising with their perspective. Try asking the other person, ‘Can you explain your point of view again please?‘ or ‘Can you help me understand how you see things?’
Apologise for your part.
Everyone’s capable of being wrong or hurting someone’s feelings. Be humble and admit when you’re at fault. Try saying, ‘Sorry, I said that in a hurtful way. Can I try again using different words, please?‘ or ‘I’m sorry for… it wasn’t the right thing to do.’
As uncomfortable as arguments can be, they can teach us to clarify and articulate our thoughts, and respectfully consider the ideas of others.
Have you got a tip for diffusing an argument at work that you'd like to share? Please leave it in the comment box below.
About Victoria Hall Victoria believes that great communication has the power to change the world. She's passionate about helping organisations to lift their profiles, inspire action and achieve remarkable results by crafting and delivering their stories and messages in a clear, compelling and persuasive way. If you've got a question about how to produce high-quality communication plans or content, you can contact Victoria here or connect with her on LinkedIn.
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